From Populace
by Elizabeth Treadwell
Diary
In the bar Sarah was the one we decided had to face the man who sent us over with compliments Dom Perignon. In small distance she shakes his hand. She is wearing a dark blue dress to below her knees with small thick black shoes on. The man is a fat hog fancy from offices. He's at the corner of the bar. Later the young man who keeps dropping by our table who's from San Jose complains. She tells him to go out of the financial district, change his clothes go to Haight maybe North Beach yeah North Beach says the other Sarah. When he comes again he is more drunk says there's too many fags in here the other Sarah says hey that's not cool, that's enough, bye. I wonder does he mean inside himself. He walks away after protesting. The fat hog gentleman has sent another bottle to another group of girls. I say this has never happened to me not even in L.A. where passing in the door to 711 someone'll ask you out. The other Sarah says all it takes is a lonely old fat hog gentleman. I say well they have those there.
Noreen likes to be in groups with a bag of food and a large bottle of wine she moved over the meadow to throw the frisbee.
I am confused about emotion and physical sensations.
At work, my boss said an acquaintance of hers had fallen into heroin while she was getting divorced and her daughter, who's 12, wanted to stay with her dad.
In a dream I ordered Lorna around.
Lorna came up with her husband and baby for Gilly's wedding. We crossed from Tiburon to Angel Island seeing other old friends who were married, some to each other. For example Ann who had gained weight hugged me. I sat beside her as her floppy flowered hat moved in the breeze. I liked her hat and said so. Ethan was also there, they had become married. Ann stood back at the rail taking pictures of everyone.
Gilly had a long dress below her ankles, off the shoulder. She looked nervous that smile that can't stop she looked very beautiful with freckles and dark hair and brown eyes and one mole near one eyebrow. Lorna's husband and I liked the ceremony but Lorna thought we were saps to. Seth's kid got a crush on me and put sticks on my lap while I sat with
him on dirt/grass near the shoreline. I took acorns to make a crowd moving toward him, acorns moving along like an army to his knees. He didn't completely notice. Later he asked will you go on sidewalk with me. He tugged at my skirt the moment I arrived. We saw a seal.
In L.A. two weeks ago Megan and I went to the hills behind which Frank showed us his new house. We watched movies and I told them how in Marianne Faithfull's book she said she gained fifty pounds and went to see Mick Jagger and then he stopped calling her. She lived on empty streets at night. We were watching "Sympathy for the Devil" and I fell asleep on one of the couches. We never swam. She did it on purpose.
I saw Gilly's dad signing a bill behind the caterer's counter. Everyone except me seemed to say Mazel Tov.
The night before Phil was very drunk and kissed me on the neck for no reason. His wife was a bastion of sanity. Lorna said Evan's new girlfriend was not particularly beautiful. I had to agree. Henry's wife sat nursing the baby. She wore red lipstick and had severe bangs. I remember liking her before but I wasn't sure she recognized me. Carl was out of town all weekend.
Lorna told me to say things firmly.
When we got home from the wedding there was a message from Megan.
I ran into Noreen at school and then later at a place where Carl was also. I hurried in the shower because he was picking me up. I sat outside with wet hair. Cars, bikes, peds; sunlight and distances. High clouds that might merge later and melt into a small rain. We went to a picnic.
three girls living on genesee in l.a.: a true story.
i only go to one house. it's an apt. upstairs. large enough. karin is cutting up vegetables in the kitchen. later the table will be crowded. penny takes me to 711 in her truck where we buy ice. we mix drinks. from the table couples move. i am visiting. there are old friends attaching to other people and times. there is now. a new shirt i'm wearing and caitlin's mini. i see how karin's boyfriend is and their objects, how he asked to get married. but they just live together. it's nice how he's not. he has a goldfish named jake. time release pellets for when they're out of town. big plates of pasta and squash with crisp edges. we drink wine and then coffee. karin is sleepy.
amanda grew up in hancock park. she wears glasses. outside prescription sunglasses. upon walking in she changes like mr. rogers. she used to fall asleep in class and invite me to clubs. we haven't spoken in years. she made a book of who's who and was featured in the papers. she has long hair. she used to wear it flat to the city. when we went to college in berkeley. other ones became big and bought houses. one turned into a fashion designer. another one moved to the mission. amanda paragraphs. she worked as an assistant, buying things all over town. i did too, driving people around. then i moved away. one time we were sitting in an irish bar listening and we drank beers.
the one i don't like is gabrielle. she made herself over. first weird purple flowing and now. a black outfit from barneys. though not pretty she appears most like a model. wore outfits drew plans. in a trailer she fell down working for an architect. her father died. she drives fancy now. listening on street corners she sees her family. does she miss them. a cousin visits. i visit. at a bar she asks did i find an apt. i say no but i'm housesitting while my boyfriend. see how it's hollow. patching. she goes to the wine country with my sister. what i just heard is she started up with a married lady whose husband found it fascinating but is now institutionalized. makes a good story.
amanda called me one summer but i didn't return it. karin had a dinner party. gabrielle didn't come. they all live on genesee.
gabrielle made me mad. it was when i had broken up. certain people i couldn't see. she still talked about them. i felt lonely around her. she had sharp edges i felt like. but before that i didn't like her either. she was a weird girl, listening to pages.
karin missed me and i missed her. she came by the cafe. she was visiting. her hair is blonde like scandinavian.
there were articles. we had readers and we read them. on the steps of dwinelle hall i used to sit with amanda saying you know what i mean.