From Pain
by Christopher Reiner
THE GOODNESS OF HER HEART
It’s so dull, don’t you think, to be up and running all the
time. Like walking by a huge house, at dusk, in winter, the road full
of snow, and every light in the place is blazing. Rather one lamp deep
in the upper room. And in autumn you walk by, you see a couple, talking
intimately, facing away from you, so completely rapt in conversation,
you sneak by quietly, as if you had intruded.
But from behind you a local bus is coming—one of those
old, outdated models that the city refuses to replace. And with that same
driver, in uniform, fatigued, racing home at the end of his shift. Years
from now, it turns out he was molesting some of those boys. (“They
seduced me,” he says).
Come here, I won’t bite.
It gets later and later. Even in summer, driving down the
road over the hill at the edge of town, thinking what a lovely place this
is to live in, and vowing never again to be deceived by travel brochures,
or exotic datelines in the news stories. Look, there’s a horse running
across the field; and now two, one high along the ridge. “Like they
were painted there,” you said. “Like a moving painting.”
And someone will point out how paintings, even the loveliest and the most beloved, don’t move. “Like a movie, you mean.”
But no, that’s not it. And you’re angry. But
later on, we’ll remember how exciting and interesting it was that
you were so upset about what we thought was such a little thing.
The next time you see the couple in the window, they’re kissing, and it’s different, like it’s not the same couple. And it may not be. These two are older. Her nails are long and polished. And he has a large, ugly neck.
16 CLAIMS
1. If you believe you have a particular talent, you should nurture it
and achieve proficiency.
2. When someone comes to kill you, you will not recognize the person or
the intent until it is too late.
3. Check the mirror often: your daily appearance is a good indication
of your general health.
4. From time to time, you will notice some activity between other people
which you know you were not supposed to have seen. When this happens,
you should go on with whatever you were doing. Do not try to put this
activity into a context. Do not assume you understand.
5. Just because you can mention a variety of ideas, objects, emotions
and locations in the same sentence does not mean that they have anything
to do with each other.
6. "I awoke to find myself crying in front of the window."
7. The old battlefield is a cemetery now. There is an historical explanation
written on a sign two yards square at the entrance from the parking lot.
Visitors come and place flowers and envelopes (with long letters and descriptions)
on the burial plots. Once a year, on the lawn at the far end, where no
one is buried, the local citizens re-enact the legislative session during
which the war was declared. This event is covered extensively by the local
media.
8. The crowd is still standing around, but now they are looking only at
each other.
9. You seem particularly interested in that gem. Did you know, its very
presence kept a whole village alive for six years? Alive, and quiet, and
kind to one another.
10. Always ask for a good definition. Don't be afraid to take the so-called
expert to task. Often, the expert will try to use some special knowledge
against you. Don't underestimate yourself. There is nothing you can't
understand if you just keep asking.
11. The article says the couple was found nude.
12. This article says a couple was found nude and tortured.
13. "The family in that house has owned this stretch of land for a hundred
and fifty years. When the great fire came, everything on the land burned
down. Every ten to fifteen years, there's a flood, and the land floods
and the house floods too. Every six to eight years, someone leaves, and
every five to twelve years someone, not necessarily the same person, comes
back. The place has its own historian, its own song (with several verses
and a rousing chorus), its own enemies. That part of a wall you see way
over there, in the high grass? There was another house there once."
14. Where we live, it's been a while since large groups of people were
rounded up and shot.
15. Don't forget your password.
16. The martyr ascends into heaven directly.